From a couple of visits near a decade ago, Bangkok has always remained the shining light of South East Asian city destinations for me. When the opportunity arose to have a cheeky weekend there with some friends, there was zero hesitation to go.
Having the intention to relive all the glamour of Bangkok, we opted to get there a little earlier than the others and hopped on a flight after work on Thursday. Whilst only a two and a half hour flight from Singapore, we forgot to factor in the immigration wait and the Bangkok traffic, which left us arriving at our hotel at 12.30am. I.LOVE.SLEEP. Therefore I was ready to knock out and start afresh the next morning. However we had decided to spend our first night in a hotel near the infamous Khao San Road, and an early night would not have maximized our positioning.
After a quick refresher, we popped on down to Khao San, the hub of backpack travellers. This road, without a shadow of a doubt, comes alive at night. As soon as we approached, I remember that feeling, of being a backpacker, passing through this road which I felt denoted the entire city. I remember the vibrancy and feeling so alive, happy and free. Literally, living life.
This time it was slightly different. Walking towards Khao San, I was so aware of how filthy the streets were, and the incredibly high number of homeless people around. As soon as I reached the road however, that all was quickly forgotten and back flooded the alive feeling. People singing and dancing in the streets with friends and strangers alike. Everyone just SO happy, and content with where they were right in that moment. It took around 10 minutes for us to pass through the crowds and to pull up a stoop at a slightly quieter bar (insert granny emoticon here). As we sat, taking in our first alcoholic beverage of choice, we reminisced about our previous experiences there.
A couple of drinks in, we started to notice a pattern of people leaving in dribs and drabs, usually with someone passed out in the middle being held up between two friends. Whilst people watching is generally quite entertaining it was a little shocking to see kids (I mean I’m sure I didn’t look THAT young when I was 18, i.e. the age of pretty much every other person there) drinking so much in a foreign country until they passed out and had to be taken home by potential strangers.
Before we knew it we were on a mini bar crawl towards the centre of the street, where everyone appeared to be collecting. After taking a quick look around, we realized the streets had emptied and the sun had begun to rise, it was only then we realized it was 5am and it was time to call it a night/day.
Whilst the hotel wasn’t really made the most of, the Dewan was very nicely decorated, like a Riyadh in Marrakech and had a very non-backpacker vibe to it. The location was great as it was close enough to the action without it being too loud, and for the 6 hours we spent there, well worth the $43 spent on it!
For breakfast we went back along to Khao San (obsessed) and found a diner style pub with everything imaginable from Thai food to American dishes. This time, the street looked like any other, and you’d never know merchants would set up stalls of fried tarantulas to sell to disconcerted tourists looking to try something wild. There were still many shops (kicking ourselves for not doing a bit of shopping there) which sold all the typical Chang vests and fake Casios (that light up eh’hum!) but it just had an overall calmer vibe.
We were checking out of the Dewan to move into Amara in the Sukhumvit Region, where we were meeting the rest of our buddies, who were due to arrive later that evening, so returned to collect our bits before sitting in an hour’s worth of traffic from one hotel to the other. Once we arrived, we checked in, dumped our bags and went on the search for somewhere we could get a decent Thai massage. Well the boys wanted a Thai massage, I was more interested in getting semi-perm eyelashes put in after a great experience a decade ago. After making them wander around for about an hour, I gave up and agreed to go for a massage instead, however, it appeared we were staying in a rather seedy part of Sukhimvit and the road parallel to ours (Sukhimvit 33) was full of massage parlours of the wrong persuasion. Therefore we gave up and resided by the hotel pool with a few beverages and music.
After a very quick nap (need sleep) we head back out to the Rot Fai Central Market, which in terms of markets was pretty awesome. They had stalls everywhere selling all sorts of merchandise, but they also had a lot of bars and restaurants and food stalls (yet we decided to eat at the grilled cheese sandwich place – it was delicious though, I have to say). Following our “traditional” food, we decided to wander the shopping stalls, until of course I got distracted by a lady doing semi-perm eyelashes and pulled up a pew in the queue.
It is my understanding that the boys attempted to shop a little further, before giving up and finding refuge in a bar nearby. Approximately 45minutes later and all lashed up ($16SGD /£8GBP to do btw) I made my way over to the bar, to be met with some rather strong mojito’s and some rather unnecessary shots. At this point it was midnight and we’d received the call from our buddies to say they had arrived, and were coming to meet us.
We agreed to head to Soi Cowboy, basically an upmarket version of Patpong, (a well-known Red Light District). Our cab journey there was hilarious, the driver was a total joker, as once he realized we spoke English, he decided to call up his girlfriend to speak to us. After a 20 minute conversation with the cabbie’s girlfriend (and numerous chat up lines being exchanged) we arrived at Soi Cowboy, and I finally really learnt what it meant to be a Red Light District. Huge neon signs everywhere, women walking around scantily clad in bikini’s and trying their hardest to appear happy and inviting. Our friends arrived shortly after us, and we ended up perching in a bar outside, and playing catchup. Again as the night had commenced rather late, it continued into the wee hours of the morning, and we worryingly but validly earned the names Brits Abroad. Feeling high on the fumes of Bangkok, we decided that at 5am (when we were thrown out of the bar) we would extend the night by going to the only place we know would be open all night… Khao San Road. Turns out, it’s not open all night and when we reached there at 5.30am, the clubs were closing and the sun was rising. The only option left was to get a Mc Donald’s breakfast and call it a night.
The next morning we arose with the determination that a Thai massage would be received, and we found a reputable (non-seedy) place called So Thai just at the end of our road. Whilst significantly more expensive than the 150 THB 30minute foot massage places offered in other areas, it was a proper spa and therefore legitimized the additional cost. I, however, am less a fan of massages, and continued to wander down the street until I stumbled upon a salon, where I chose to get a mani-pedi instead. I can’t remember the name, but I’ll be honest, it wasn’t really the best of places to go, and again not as cheap as one would expect in Bangkok.
Having not eaten since our 6am McDonald’s breakfast, we decided to go to the critically acclaimed Cabbages and Condoms, where the tag line is “our food is guaranteed not to cause pregnancy”. The whole place is a shrine to condoms, with statues made out of condoms, and even a museum-like room with all things condom.
The food had very little to do with condoms (thankfully), and apart from the décor, I didn’t really get the purpose of it. Either way, the pull worked and there we were eating our lunch at a place that served neither cabbage nor condoms. The food was good, I wouldn’t go as far to say as amazing, but it was some of the better food we had had in Bangkok. Our tummies full and about a million selfies taken of the oddest statues, we decided to head back to Rot Fai and introduce the newbies to the joys of the night market.
As there was now seven of us, we required two taxis, at this stage getting the taxis wasn’t the difficult bit, it was trying to get the drivers to go by the meter. After agreeing to go on the meter, our cab driver (whilst we were stopped at a red light) hopped out of the car, and back to the cab our friends were in, to plot with their driver to charge us 200THB each to our destination. When he came back in, he turned off the meter and acted as if nothing had happened. Thankfully we noticed and demanded he turn the meter back on. He repeatedly told us that it was a fixed charge, which we disagreed to pay, and eventually (although very begrudgingly) he agreed to go by meter. Ironically, the first thing my brother told me when I said I was going to Bangkok for a long weekend, was that he wasn’t a fan due to all the scam artists there. At this point I really understood what he meant.
We eventually got out of his cab and arrived at Rot Fai, and this time I wanted to shop. We started with a cheeky cocktail (some of the biggest I have ever seen) and then I went on to drag Neil to the stalls. About 10minutes in and covered in sweat, we decided to call it and went back to meet the others at the bar they had decided to (smartly) stick to. Here an unanimous agreement to freshen up and head back out for the night was made, and again we attempted to get cabs back. This proved to be difficult and a few of us ended up jumping in a tuk tuk to get us to the other side of Bangkok. This again reminded me of why I liked Bangkok, even though I was hot, grumpy and tired, 10 minutes in an authentic Thai mode of transport and I was back to feeling awake and ready for what the night ahead had to bring. No-one could have prepared me for what came next.
There were a few things we had wanted to see in Bangkok, one being a Ping Pong Show and the other being Thai Boxing. The Ping Pong Show won over the Thai Boxing, and therefore that evening we head to Patpong. Now at Soi Cowboy, I mentioned the women were attempting to atleast appear inviting. In Patpong it was a whole new cattle of fish, and with that I mean an old, miserable and frankly unattractive cattle. The women didn’t even attempt to look happy, all sitting in groups, puffing on cigarettes and making it evidently clear they did not want to be there. It was like looking at a street of bad decisions, and at people who thought it was too late to do anything else. Here we got dragged down to a place advertising a Ping Pong Show. Now in my mind, I assumed it would be an actual show, instead it was a bar with women in their underwear walking around and shoving things up their hoo-haa only to spit it back out again. Some were even puffing their cigarettes down there, whilst others were shooting out darts or blades, and frequently coming through the audience asking for tips. I never thought of myself as a prude, but that is something I don’t think I would ever want to witness again. One question kept running through my mind… how in the world, did they figure out that that was a talent they possessed and therefore would be apt for a career in Ping Pong shows. We quickly left Patpong and found ourselves at the bar we had been at the previous night. Here with a few drinks, we picked up the mood and enjoyed our final evening, a particular highlight being the tuktuk driver who agreed to take seven of us in one tuktuk in potentially what could have been the final ride of our lives.
The next morning, with heavy hearts we bid Bangkok farewell, and made our way to the airport. We experienced true Bangkok havoc at the airport, where queuing most definitely wasn’t a thing, barriers meant nothing (less so when one accidentally left one open) and patience got you nowhere. After a very disorganized immigrant control, we made it though, only to almost miss our flight as some people (*cough*the boys *cough*) decided their need for a chicken burger had to be fulfilled with just 10 minutes to boarding. Thankfully we made it on, and soon we were back in Singapore (although not quite early enough for them to make their 7pm football game).
Bangkok was a blast, and a big shout out to our Squad mascot...Bangers!
